Chances are you have heard someone close to you or on TV say, “We are staying together for the kids” or “We are staying together until the kids go to college.”
Understandably, when children are involved, the decision to dissolve a marriage can be more challenging. So, should you and your spouse stay together for the kids?
Consider the long-term effects
Staying together for the kids can be beneficial. You get to raise your children in a two-parent home, giving them stability, as they don’t have to move between two homes now and then.
However, you have to look at the big picture. If your marriage is not working, making you sad that you can’t even be fully present for your kids, exposing them to conflicts if you and your spouse can’t agree on anything, you may be doing them more harm than good by staying together.
Additionally, if abuse (emotional, verbal, physical or financial) is the primary reason you want a divorce, it can be beneficial to go ahead with it. You don’t want to raise your children in an abusive environment. You may also consider moving on if the abuse is directed at your kids.
Therefore, while you may want to stay in your marriage to protect your kids from the pain of divorce, they may be significantly affected in other ways if you stay.
Can you save the marriage?
If you believe your marriage can be saved, perhaps through therapy and better communication, give it a try if both you and your spouse are willing to do so. But once you realize divorce is inevitable, it may be time to start a new life.
Staying in a marriage that’s not working or is abusive can negatively impact your kids. If you are in such a position, gather enough information to determine the most suitable decision.
