Telling your children that you’re divorcing might be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. Trying to prepare for this challenging talk isn’t going to be simple. However, it can help you to have everything in order before you sit them down.

If it is possible, you and your spouse should both talk to your children at the same time. This lets both adults know what’s being discussed and it provides a positive parenting front from the start. The kids will know that you and their other parent want to do what’s best for them.

Try to talk to all the kids together. No child should be left holding the burden of trying to keep news of this magnitude quiet because their siblings don’t know about the split.

The children will likely have questions about what’s going on. Answering them in an age-appropriate manner is a good idea. Just remember that kids don’t need to know all the details about what led to the divorce. Tell them what they need to know and leave the rest alone.

One of the biggest concerns of children who learn of their parents’ divorce is wondering how their life will change. If you can, try to have the temporary custody arrangement set so you can let them know the plan. For some kids, knowing that they’re going to still have a relationship with both parents can help them adjust.

There might be aspects of the custody arrangement that you don’t know yet. Be truthful about this, and never promise things that you aren’t certain you’ll be able to do. The goal is to help the kids adjust to the split, but broken promises work against this.

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